Peter’s Paddling Blog

A large part of Saturday was spend building a jetty at the kayak club. The process consisted of hammering a heavy iron spear 1m into the seabed, retrieve the spear, hammer a thick wooden pole into the hole. Rinse & repeat. I was wasted afterwards.

Oh and let’s ignore the turd strolling along the beach, who told us of some device that could insert the poles deep into the seabed with no effort using a high-pressured jet and which could be rented for next to nothing. Forgetaboutit! We are kayakers and we have jetty building ethics.

My busted butt did make me wonder to what degree kayaking helps build everyday functional strength.

The other day I was mailed a link to this little gem on How to become a Spartan Warrior. I’m sure you watched the movie by now. Who doesn’t want to be a Spartan Warrior(except for the dying part of cause)?

A training video with pumped up techno music and a ‘I want a sixpack’ flashing text(sixpack = ribbed stomach for the non-initiated). It’s a beauty.

No I’m not completely stupid and yes this whole ninja/warrior/navy seal/elite soldier exercise regime thing makes my toes curl. However if anyone gets motivated to do old school bodyweight exercises by the prospect of becoming a Spartan Warrior or wants to impress the girls with a sixpack then that is pretty innocent.

Contrast this with the waves of bullshit fads striking the ever increasing hoards of couch potatoes. It has come to the point where the royal danish news program speaks of Wellness(using the English word even!) with a straight face. Oh boy it makes me cringe.

I have nightmares of waking up one day and everybody is walking around in white linen on a global wellness trip. Good thing I found this ‘Spartan Warrior Kid’. Shoulder by shoulder we’ll be fighting of the hordes of Wellness lunatics and their holistic drivel. I’ll be wielding my iron jetty spear even.

Returning to the video clip, the absence of an isolated bicep curl exercise and the range of squat exercises is a safe indicator that this program is perfectly good. For a more… balanced presentation of basically the same exercises checkout stumptuous.com (and just forget that the site is primarily directed at women).

Now as for kayaking. Thursday the weather was perfect and I took the day off. Along with the sole Norwegian of the sea kayak club I paddled out to the island Samsø some 27km away, had lunch and paddled 27km back – now in possession of a serious sunburn.

The stylish Norwegian in silly shoes and rubber pants.

My Inuk is currently stored out of town and my Vyneck still hasn’t had footrest installed, so I opted to go in one of the club’s kayaks. I had heard much praise of the Qajaq Avanaq and I picked it for the ride.

The Avanaq turned out to be an average boring sea kayak with an exceptional lack of foot space. I don’t have particular large feet but still my feet were more cramped than in my Supersonic. Having my legs splayed into the typical sea kayak frog leg’s position coupled with sliding rudder pedals didn’t help either. This leg position is so wrong.

Qajaq Avanaq – an extremely speedy and technical sea kayak.

As for the Avanaq being extremely speedy as the producer claims – give me a break. It’s a fat little barge for balance challenged paddlers with tiny feet.

The Spartan Warrior signing off

Friday I went on a 50km trip with some youth from my club and a neighboring club. Our trip leader was the youth’s trainer – one highly experienced paddler with +100.000km and numerous race victories in the luggage.

The kids on the trip really impressed me. They all doubled their PR on length of a day paddle and still they went in a pace that most grownup paddlers wouldn’t be able to keep up with.
Likewise while plenty kayakers I know of are scared to climb into a sea kayak from a low jetty, these kids jumped fearlessly into their K1s from a height.

Still they’re not super humans. As it turned out removing “disgusting” bugs from a sprayskirt and recovering lost footwear from the mud is all part of a trainer’s job. And was there ever a novice in the world of kayak touring who didn’t struggle to get all of his or her stuff packed below deck?

Packing the K1s and a K2.

Lunch after some 20km and we’re not even halfway yet! – a bothersome realization.

Weary faces as chocolate is handed around after some 40 km.

We reached the target kayak club in the afternoon in various states of tiredness. The hardships were soon forgotten though as we settled in the easy chairs of the club with hot cocoa, cookies and one hell of a clear conscience.